"I don't want to feel like I need to hide anything. This is me."

She's not new to our business, her very first session was a location session 6 years ago, where she traveled about 2 hours to the destination. She was like every other first time client we've worked with in our 9.5+ years.... nervous.

Nervous about being photogenic, being pretty enough, being thin enough. Nervous about "looking fat" or about measuring up to the other gorgeous women on our website (who all felt exactly how she was feeling!). Nervous about "what if my (insert any body part) looks huge?", nervous about..... all the things women are conditioned to worry about.


Since her first session, she's booked a "coffee boudoir" session. Yes, a coffee boudoir session! Any true coffee lover would clearly see the value in such a session! Although it was a boudoir session, it was designed to have a laid back, casual 'sipping coffee in bed on a Sunday morning' vibe. (I've been told I make some of the best coffee, but perhaps our clients just like to sweet talk!) She wore a bra set with a robe to complete the lounging in bed vibe and .... for security.


Fast forward to August 2021.


When a client books a session, we schedule an in studio consult prior to her session date so she has a chance to meet us (if it's her first session), choose her sets and have access to our wardrobe so that on the day of her session, we can jump right into the fun! However, every client has the option to bring / purchase her own wardrobe.


She came in for her 3 Outfit Package consult and she had ideas! Jeez, did she have ideas and they were all stellar! She didn't realize she'd said something that "gonged" in my brain as she was trying on wardrobe.


"I don't want to feel like I need to hide anything! This is me!" she quipped. (as she gestured a single motion, sweeping her hands across her body as though she were unveiling the next big prize on a game show.)

I don't know what she said for the next 20 seconds because I stood there, proud and in awe. Thoughts like: "Man, wouldn't it be great if every single woman alive could so easily adopt this very attitude!?" and "Damn girl, yes! YES! Fucking embrace that one and only body you've been given!"


I can preach, and teach all the body positivity / acceptance as the day is long, but at the end of that day - whether a client chooses to continue to loathe her body isn't something for me to own. That's their journey, not mine, I can only try to be a positive part in that journey. But damn it, when a repeat client walks in with the "this is me and screw what the world thinks!" attitude, I've no shame to say that I'm going to feel like a proud mama bear! I won't lay claim to her entire shift in attitude, but I will feel the pride in knowing that my work and passion may've contributed. Otherwise, why would she be standing in my studio exclaiming such a personal victory of hers?


For her three outfits, she chose to bring two of her own (one of which she made herself!) and use a robe from our wardrobe her the third.

Lingerie that she made herself. Crafty!

She's always a fun client to work with. She's always quick witted, sarcastic and upbeat, but her energy on this particular day was ....different. A bit more genuine and relaxed because, perhaps, she was being more authentic, embracing all of herself for who she is without apology.


EXISTING IN YOUR BODY WITHOUT APOLOGY!

Who doesn't strive for that? We all do, but it's not always easily accomplished, sadly.


She explained an idea for one of her outfits: "I want to be wearing a red leather sort of jacket over a fishnet body stocking." I remember chuckling and saying "Hell yes!" (her ideas were such an expression of her freeing herself!!) She proceeded to show me the jacket she had saved in her Amazon wishlist. I responded with a "Oh hell yaaaaas!!!"



For her third outfit / set.... she chose our long black sheer robe (which she used more as a prop than wardrobe).



Her wild abandon was refreshing, watching her celebrate the body that society has scorned her to turn against.


Because see, it doesn't matter what size the body.... the media and society always have something to say about it. They will always let you know if they think you're too thin, too thick, too ass-y, to flat, too full, too tall, too short, too muscular, too boney ......

You get it?


I've worked with women who are petite and express dismay that they can't ever find sexy lingerie that doesn't just hang on them or who wish they had "more hips" and I've worked with plus size women who express dismay over not being able to find sexy lingerie that fits their body shape properly or wish they had "less hips". Body issues aren't exclusive to a certain size or body type.


Sadly, we're all conditioned to think we need to measure up... but too what? Societal standards? Media expectations? They're not even sure of what their standards & expectations are because they seem to change from season to season, if not week to week.


When I'm having a day where I'm letting the "standards" get in my brain and make me want to hate this or that about my body, I try to remind myself that, on my death bed, my concern won't be about the body I lived my life in, but rather .... the life my body allowed me to live.

Those are the words that I want to leave you with.








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